Tag Archives: old man ranting

Cycling the food chain

OK so a minor rant today about cycling etiquette.  I ride multiple bikes and pedal as much as a suburban work-a-day stiff kind find the time to (I’m also quite lazy).  I would consider myself a cyclist foremost as the riding and thoughts of cycling comprise 90% of my non-family thoughts.  If I had to narrow what kind of cyclist, no real reason except to banter on the interweb, I would say I’m a mountain biker closely followed by a bicycle commuter.  Though I ride a bicycle during a commuting or getting somewhere circumstance more than I ride the MTB, I like the mountain cycling better than pedaling to work in 10 degree temps.  In my opinion, mountain bike enthusiasts are the top of the cycling food chain as far as humans who pedal bikes go.  We are friendly, we say hello on trail, most of us are not assholes who ride wet trails and don’t yield to other trail users and a we work on the trails we ride.  When is the last time you saw a roadie in tight pants and an orange vest doing road work?  Any way I digress.  Maybe it’s the nature that should chill everyone out and make people have fun at what they’re doing or it’s just the hi-low tech (doesn’t matter) love of the cycle.

The next on the cycling food chain I used to think was the bicycle commuter.  I could smile at cars stuck in traffic with my self-assuring glare that I’m better than them because I caused zero emissions on the way to the office and I’m in a hell of a lot better mood than them.  But now, oh now, I commute along a rather traveled stretch of bike lane everyday in Denver.  20th street runs from west to east and is safer than some of the other streets that go through as far as it does.  I feel we are unique as commuters and we should share a certain camaraderie amongst our superiority complexes, but my fellow commuters are assholes.  Or as preoccupied as a 17 year old texting the passenger in her car as she runs over old ladies in cross-walks.  I’m all for the zen and solitude of a nice bicycle ride but what the fuck?  Say hello!! Be Polite!  Any way, again I digress, I can rest assured that we are still better, even though impolite, than people who drive cars as a lifestyle choice.   Any ways, there are the hipster dufus guys in tight jeans and fixed gear bikes, nothing to complain about there, natural selection will take care of that.   Roadies would come next, they are the epitome of the superiority complex.  They are fast, or at least look that way, and they are building lean muscle and have no time for the plebeians.  What ever, they suck, don’t say hi when you pass them going up big hills.

Wait I think I’m rambling now.  I meant to make some point about how bicycle commuters are higher on the food chain than the recumbant riders and the trials riders.  We were way higher on the chain than the unicyclists.  Even higer than the recumbant unicyclists who ride trials, the are the dregs of cycling.  No one really takes us seriously.  We are the hood-ornaments of the cycling world, the yellow jacket, peg panted army that will always be made fun of by the “serious” cyclist.  OK, still rambling (I’m Old and Bitter) anyways, fumbling through the interweb this evening after work, a way better blog than mine posted a video of this amazing kid riding street/trials and us poor commuters dropped under the trials guys in the food chain.

It’s five and a half minutes of your life that will not be wasted…
Fruita Fat Tire Festival is this week, we’re leaving on Thursday AM and we’ll rock and drink through Sunday morning/afternoon. If you’re going and unfortunate enough to read this blog, leave a comment and we’ll see you there.  I’ll have the low-down, photos, and random rants about them dang kids with their streamers and fancy bikes.  All for now.